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Ali G*
25 Records offers yous da chance to cukabillyva da next massiv fing on music. Chek out some of hour mp3, real audio hand beatnik files. We is looking for unsigned bands hand groups, we is well up for yous bangin demos. WWF.SWEDISHPUSSY.COMIf you is lookin' for slippers, then try hereALI G ON Popshop "She's Swedish, is she? Is she legal? Is she better than me sister? Yeah, obviously, cos she is me sister and I would never bone me sister, even if she was as fit as Mariah Carey. Well...me would bone her if she was as fit as Mariah Carey." ALI G ON Drowning Boats "Dey is punks? Aiii. Who is that guy there? Noodles? What's wrong with the way he looks? He's got glasses, and he's got a massive neck. And that's not normal for a human bein'. Lose the neck." ALI G ON Dan T's Inferno "Who is he? From New York? Aiii. Is he a homosexualist? Why is he doing that with a cigar? Me ain't smoked a cigar ever since Jimmy Carter did that fing, you know? Me tried it wiv me Julie, and it ruined the whole taste of the cigar. It don't light properly after that, man." ALI G ON The Hampton's "She couldn't make the strech make tan" 'She couldn't make the strech make tan'? - dat includes your cock! If that happened to me, I wouldn't be singin' about it, I'd be down the clinic sortin' it out ASPP - an' I wouldn't wait for me weekly appointment either." ALI G ON RED ASH and the Love Commandos "Build" "Just out of interest, is the lead singer havin' his batty banged purple by some hardcore gangstas while recording this? I know what building is - it is the fing dat I live in. I don't need these benders moanin' about it. Is they on crack?" ALI G ON Blaze "Prey for me" "Well if you prey for this song you don't have a brain, innit? Whoever the girl who's singin' this is, she sound like she got sumfin' in her mouth, know what I mean? Even if dis track was speeded up to 160bpm an' have a jungle riddim underneath it, it would still be crap." ALI G ON Osmosis "Lifeline" "Nice start. This track is spiritual. It made me start finking about me family, me posse an' meself an' the way the three is relate to each other...only jokin', it was shit like the rest. Maybe I need to be proper mashed to help me fink about it. Hold on. No. It's still shit." ALI G ON Parkstone Dub Foundation "Duckin and divin" "Before I even put the CD in, here's a tenner to say these guys is battyboys. Yeah, I'm right. Is it possible to write a gayer track than this? I don't think so. These boys definitely need a good duckin." ALI G ON Idiot Bear 'Easter Island' "Cummoffit! How can a bear be an idiot? Unless he bums your mum, in which case you wouldn't be there...and, come to think of it, neither would she." *Not that Ali G oblesssibly In a bit, me will be making da translator downloadabable under da GPL license. Me uncle jamal is also making a version dat bruvers can run on their ownest pooter. Need an Ali G translator
click here batty
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The government did a survey on the nations greatest psychologists to see exactly how good they were. They were each given 200 drug addicts, 1 sheet of paper, and a pencil. After a few hours they were called back in and asked how they did.
Many had made no progress when one stood up and stated he had gotten 50 to stop drugs immediately. In disbelief he was asked how. Simple he stated, on one side of the paper I drew a circle and said this is your brain. On the other side I drew a very small circle and said this is your brain on drugs.
Immediately 50 stopped using drugs. At this time another psychologist stood up and said that's nothing, I got all 200 of my addicts to drop their habits immediately. Then he was asked how.
Simple he said, on one side of the paper I drew a circle and said this is your brain. Then on the other side I drew a really big circle and said this is your butt hole when you go to prison.
